World Of Mine

Transparency In A Relationship

How important is transparency in a relationship? Some claims that in a relationship everything must be shared, no secrecy should exists. As most puts it, “secrecy is a sign of guilt”, hence some people being called liars for keeping secrets from their partners. But do they deserve such title for their action? Despite the fact that openness is important in a relationship, but there is another important ingredient in keeping the relationship strong, trust.

Trust, honesty, humility, transparency and accountability are the building blocks of a positive reputation. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. – Mike Paul

Perhaps most people have forgotten that trust is much more important in a relationship. By having high level of trust in a relationship, we don’t need so much of transparency. Not every information needed to be share, have we forgotten about privacy? Do we need to expose every details about our past and present to our partners? No, we do not.

Example of a case:

Dear scholars, As-Salamu `alaykum. I am a married woman. I have sinned by speaking to and writing love letters to another man. I know I have made a mistake. I am desperate to know how I can I pay for my sin. Is it necessary for me to tell my husband about it? If I do, he will never forgive me. How can I fortify my faith? Please help me as soon as possible with an answer. Jazakum Allah khayran.

A confession of a wife who were in a relationship with another man. It is wrong, without a doubt. But must she confess it to her husband? As she claimed, if doing so she’ll damage the relationship. In this situation it is best to keep it as a secret from the husband. As being answered by the scholar: Read More

Tags: openness, relationship, secret, transparency, trust

The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants

What is actually that thing that make lovers become optimistic about their relationship? The thing that makes them believe nothing is impossible. Come what may, they’ll make it through. Some might say it is love itself, but could it really be love?

Lets view it from a different perspective, the heart. Isn’t the heart is where it all started? Love, hate, anger and desire, all these came from the heart. One may deny by saying, “mind over matter”. Give a second thought on that, does mind really able to overpowered, the heart? In some cases it does while in majority it does not.

Romeo & Juliet, Layla & Majnun, Cleopatra & Anthony are among few examples of strong love. These are couples who faced every possible obstacles from family, friends and even community. Nothing can be done to separate them, being apart physically but strongly attached emotionally. Now, those are novel stories but does it applies in our daily life?

Couple nowadays are more matured, more intelligent, as being said earlier, mind over matter, right? Think again, smart one. It is truly impossible for mind to win over the heart. Best examples would be those are in love but no with the right person. How can someone be in love with the wrong person?

Simple, the other party is nothing more than a sweet talker, who promises every single thing. Swimming across seven seas, willing to climb every mountains, some even promises the moon and stars, pathetic, but that’s the truth. This is the kind of person that some finds interesting, and leads to being in love with. Despite the fact that they do know they are being taken advantage of, they still cling to the lover’s word. Promises being given again and again. In any given time, friends would interfere and try to knock some reality into their mind. Bring them back down to earth.

Unfortunately in most cases this never help. They would listen, they will argue, some would even promise to follow what was being advised. But as soon as they met the lover, listening to their words and hearing those sweet promises, things will change.

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Tags: desire, feelings, heart, love

Being Taken For Granted

Everyone at least once in their life will experience being taken for granted. While some learned their lesson, most of us doesn’t. We will get upset, feel disappointed, even get angry, but after few moments we tend to let it go. As most of the time it involves the people we truly care about.

It kills to see when the people that we sacrifice so much for, treated us the way we doesn’t deserves to. Take a step back and think about it for a moment, why are we being treated this way? Did they choose to treat us this way, or did we allow ourselves to be treated this way?

Not many of us have the ability to get angry in the present of those who is seeking for it. Rather than shout or yell to them, we tend to keep it inside of us. Finding other methods to let it go, which in the end does not really satisfy us. They, on the other hand, are enjoying the privellege of giving us the same treatment over and over again. At most perhaps, we send a sign by showing an unhappy face, but would they notice?

They would actually, but knowing the fact that we will get over it, they choose to ignore our facial expression. What actually got us into this? Is it because of the respect that we have for them? Could it be the love that we been giving them? Does self confidence have anything to do with this?

Perhaps those are the reason, or maybe none of it. Maybe we are just too nice to hurt the other party. Hence proving that we, ourselves is the root cause of this problem. One might wonder how could we change this. I am not a psychology expert, heck, I’m not even a psychology graduate. This is most likely to happened due to how we treat ourselves.

We tend to priotize others rather than ourselves. We worried too much about others, how other perceive us, while saying that we don’t care how other see us, such a hypocrite statement. In order to please others, we tend to go by their rules, their desires. In the end, it’s rare that we earned their respects but their, they take advantage upon us. Who is there to blame for this? No one but ourselves. Self confidence is certainly have its share in this.

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Tags: respect, self confidence, taken for granted