World Of Mine

Gathered words from an unknown geek. Based on observations and experiences, words are born. Presented in forms of poems, essays and codes.
A silent lad transformed into a talkative chap in this hidden World Of Mine.

Insane Company Notice

I received this in my inbox from a friend. Totally hilarious.

HRD NOTICE OF A COMPANY TO ALL EMPLOYEES
[ A circular was found in one of the office notice boards ]

Dear Staff ,
Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.
1) TRANSPORTATION:
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.

a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

2) ANNUAL LEAVE : Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! said 1 employee).
- They are called SUNDAYs.

4) SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

5) TOILET USE : Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
a) There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.
b) At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
c) After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offenders” category.
d) Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.

6) SURGERY : As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

7) INTERNET USAGE : All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted
from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary.
- Important Note: Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection.

Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere

Tags: company, funny, insane, joke, notice

25 Sep 08 | Voyage | Comment (1)

What Is Wrong With You?

That is exactly the thought I always have in my mind. Everytime I’m:

Taking a train. Be it STAR, PUTRA, Monorail, or Komuter. I will be, “what is wrong with you? Can’t you wait for us to disembark first?”. Typical Malaysians (mostly) does not have the patience to wait for others to disembark before they get in. It is as if the train is going to leave them within 5 seconds.
Using the public toilet. So, Malaysians are mostly well educated people, right? Think again, it has been one-too-many times where I “discovered” an undesired “treasure” in the public toilet. Similar thoughts went through my mind, “what is wrong with you? Is it so hard to flush it?”.
Being in the cinema. Basic rule in the cinema, try to stay silent while the show is on. But no, some prefer to make phone calls, or even talk out loud with their friends. Well, those are still tolerable “smart” ones. Most annoying are those who can’t stop kicking back of my seat. Yet again, the thoughts arose, “what is wrong with you? Do you have to kick my seat to enjoy the show?”.