World Of Mine

I am that geek who is working in the programming field, in love with poetry, always appreciate good lyrics and addicted to loud music.

Interesting Schemes For Employees

This hilarious article was shown by a friend. Originally posted at Xanda’s Blog.

Dear employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPE can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFT will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPE once, SHAFT twice and SCREW as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPE can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Eamings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFT or SCREW any further by Management.

Read More

Tags: joke, scheme, work

10th March 2009 | Life Voyage | Comments (0) | Back to Top

First Gift We Received As A Couple

A virtual gift made by a friend, Cariza for our (Princess & I) 11th months anniversary. Marami salamat po Click on thumbnail to view in full size.

Gosh, I love this gift

Tags: anniversary, cariza, euphoria, gift, princess, regina

23rd November 2008 | Life Voyage | Comments (0) | Back to Top

Insane Company Notice

I received this in my inbox from a friend. Totally hilarious.

HRD NOTICE OF A COMPANY TO ALL EMPLOYEES
[ A circular was found in one of the office notice boards ]

Dear Staff ,
Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.
1) TRANSPORTATION:
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.

a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

2) ANNUAL LEAVE : Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! said 1 employee).
- They are called SUNDAYs.

4) SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

5) TOILET USE : Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
a) There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.
b) At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
c) After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offenders” category.
d) Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.

6) SURGERY : As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

7) INTERNET USAGE : All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted
from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary.
- Important Note: Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection.

Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere